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  • Queues, Quid, Queries and Queers

    Posted on March 29th, 2010 Cibo 3 comments

    So after being in London for about 6 months I’ve been slowly infected by Britishism. When saying thanks, I often use “cheers” instead. I put HP sauce on my chips, which are very different than crisps. I make small talk about the Arsenal Football Club. And I have been drinking tea almost daily. Basically, I am now a big fag. But, I guess things really haven’t changed much.

    akuma tea

    Quit being a fag long enough to get me some cream before I rape your soul.

    Firstly, Code Geass is getting a prequel. This must be mentioned before anything else. If you haven’t seen that series, it is by far the most luzly anime ever made. The fact there’s going to be a prequel set in feudal Japan which makes all sorts of imaginary dance in my head. From Pizza Hut product placement whoring about 500 years before the first shop exists to the expected lulz-sense that will happen. I’m particularly giddy about the Ninja-Samurai Pizza Cat Girl Maid sluts.

    It’s a thought-proving show challenging us to find within ourselves robots, swimsuit maids, and Pizza Hut.


    With that said, I will admit I’ve been a lazy bitch when it comes to the site. I am actually rather busy, and fact is, I am still busy but I like to find ways of pissing of my groups. It’s not like the work is particular hard but again, having a team makes me more unproductive than if I just wrote the whole damn thing myself. Though, I guess I usually do end up writing the whole thing myself anyway since people can’t write in addition to being lazy and stupid bitches.

    I still find it weird how much more productive I am compared to my teams. I, who sleep like 12 hours a day and work maybe every other week on homework, can do so much more than most of my teams. Also, I am amazed at how many things I do when I am wake to piss people off.

    I never got around to talking about my gay neighbor. Yes real gay. The first day I met him when asking for the internet password for the apartment, he had the “MALE BONDAGE MAKE IT HURT BITCH!” website on the monitor. The episode was somewhat interesting but not that pertinent. But then, the mother fucker got pissed off about answering the door twice a week for my package deliveries and started doing passive aggressive shit to get back at me.

    Now, I am being a person who has survived living in a crazy family, I mean really crazy family, I can handle a high level of shit. So, as he was jacking my packages, turning off my water, and fucking with my internet, I just keep doing more and more things to annoy the shit out of him. In essence, I stopped being nice and just acted my normal self.

    Best part was that the more he did, the more I was able to report his ass to the letting agency. This brings us to the present where he hasn’t done much recently while I continue to be myself which I know pisses him off.


    And in this present, teams have been switched around yet I am again stuck with a bunch of dumb lazy mother fuckers. In both teams, there has only been one guy who hasn’t been a retard. It is really annoying how my luck continues it near flawless streak of shit. To put this into context, Bear’s group has 4 other all-stars whilst I have one all-star and 3 bench scrubs from the Clippers. You would think business school would have more smart people, however, sir you would be quite wrong since business degrees are for average people. This brings me to my next point.

    After attending business school and reading up on the Harvard and other business schools, I can say without a doubt I know why we’ve had the financial crisis.

    To start, the people who attend business school are not abstract thinkers, nor do they particularly like thinking too hard, these are people who are trying to maximize profits for next quarter’s earnings. These people hate thinking about the big picture, it is about making shit cheaper and selling more without thinking about the implications. While there are about 10% who are fucking brilliant, more brilliant than the lecturers ironically, the rest range from average intelligence to “You should never manage a company EVER”.

     value chain fail

    That is the value you add dumbfuck.


    Secondly, the academic rigor of business school is laughable. Everything is reduced to some crappy model. 4P’s, 3C’s, Triple Bottom line, Porter’s Five Forces, Value Chain analysis, or my personal model, “Go fuck your self with a rusty screw driver five ways”. Most of these models are fairly common sense and could have been deduced with anyone with a brain. However, since the education is for average people with average ability, we need to deskill thinking so everyone can do it! Hence, there’s an issue with people using tools that are above their abilities in addition to a woeful understanding of the assumptions and limitations of the models. This leads to business jargon so people don’t question what they really know.

    I should be fair, I can’t say I’m not learning anything. I do think I’ve learned some good shit from a theory stand point (which is what my colleagues fucking hate). Additionally, I am happy I don’t have to worry as much about failing the program if the classes are easy because European schools are hardcore in grading. In most colleges in America, it is damn near impossible to fail. In my program, around 40% of the people have failed one class and need to retake a test. And if they fail the retest, they’re out on their ass with no degree yet will still need to pay the bill. Hey, at least I have a B average (2.1) which is equivalent to my 3.6 GPA in the States so I’m good.

    In fact, it should get easier next round of exams. I was diagnosed with dyspraxia so I get more time and can write on a computer since my hand writing is shit (not to say my typing is much better). It’s awesome, I was already in the top group without help but now I get a bonus. Btw, the apparent “symptoms” are: bad with directions, disorganized, and likes to run around. I really have a hard time of differentiating between my normal lazy ass self who runs to class and this “disease”. The shitty spelling and grammar may be something though… meh, I’ll take what I can get.

    I found out about dyspraxia because the school footed the bill for the psychological battery/intelligence test. Besides learning that I may fuck up left and right, I also learned that I can score a 99.7% percentile for the verbal comprehension index in the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale. This explains my ability to talk to myself about abstract concepts since no one else understands what I’m saying half the time. On the rest of the test I was kind of hit or miss, which gives clarity to my inability to pass a standardized test for the life of me.

    Anyway, as I normally expect, I have fucked up with Bear, however I don’t think it’s all my fault this time. I was finding her behavior really odd since I was getting eye flirting in class and death stare when i tired talking to her in person. Further, I was impressed how she managed to reply to my text messages answering all my stated points so I would not end my pursuit of her, but not give me a up or down vote until I flat out asked her out. I found out she had a boyfriend who is some rich ass high level investment banker and she’s kind of golddigger. Sucks.

    I’m kind of disappointed in her. It’s ironic one of the richest guys on the program, a Duke of a Middle Eastern country, called the girl’s on this program spoiled cunts, and made particular emphasis of Bear.

    Btw, that dude is  pretty cool, for some guy who could spend his whole life fucking bitches and doing nothing, he works his ass off getting degrees and aspiring to make his country not a piece of shit. But, I’m somewhat bias since the dude fixed my Xbox.

    Can i get some props yo?

    Seems the other Russian girls in the program are having issues interacting with the class too. This was readily apparent at the end of term party. When everyone else was getting shit faced from free alcohol coupons passed out by our program administrator bitch, the overdressed Russian girls kept to themselves. They left shortly thereafter without really talking to anyone outside of their group. As I was asking around, I found out that Russians with money is apparently a new concept for them, think blacks with money, since it wasn’t until the last 20 years or so did Russians actually have money. So much like the Great Gatsby, which Cliffnote’s I read since i was too lazy to read the book back in high school, there’s a conflict between old money and new money. The old money being a large part of the program and new money making up the rest, meaning everyone has rich parents. I can’t help but notice the class system in Europe is smacking me in the face a little.

    Now, I being the poorest mother fucker in the program is like, “What are all you aristocrats getting all uppity about?”, when commenting on the social interactions. I know I’m the only one here on student loans and my monthly rent is about half to a quarter of  these guys’ weekly rent rates. The biggest difference I see from the two groups is: One is spoiled but at least tries not to be arrogant about it. The other is spoiled and is a haughty dick/bitch who shows off.

    For example, I was talking with a guy who had worked in consulting(old money). He said he was willing to pass along my resume to his contacts back at the firm he worked for.Then, some douche bag (new money) comes up to us and says, “Hey I want a job in consulting, give it to me!” I being poor as shit and just trying to get any job that builds work experience, wanted to punch him in the face (fucker also cock blocked me later that night too). Supposedly, douchebag’s daddy, who owns like 4-5 hi-tech firms, is going to help junior out. However, if junior had a job lined up, he probably wouldn’t be pulling this shit. Or he’s just a dick, which I can’t rule out.

    I guess that’s why I actually get a lot of respect from my classmates. I can solve problems and analyze like ninja, have a laid-back attitude, reasonable, and have been building up a rep for getting shit done (I tried not to laugh at that one). It’s kind of sad that a normal non-money focused person is so rare that he gets mad props when he does make it in. I’m never quite good with things like “respect”, “good worker”, or “not trying to be killed” so it feels kind of weird. I felt this way when I graduated college too since I’m not used to being praised, nor do I like someone getting on stage and telling me I’m awesome for simple things.

    Ok, so back to self-depreciation. While I was fucking up with Bear, a Spanish girl in my class approached me, we starting talking, I got her number, blah blah. During Winter non-break when I went back to LA, I talked with her for like 3 hours a day for about a month on IM. Then when I got back to London, she avoided me. Logged off when i logged on, didn’t return my calls. And in person should would find reasons to end a conversation. When I confronted her about it since she was giving mixed messages, she told me I was always a friend, which is kind of bullshit since I was just trying to ask her out for coffee.  My friends can seem to find time for coffee while someone who has lunch break when I do can’t. It was awesome since it was the same week as getting shut down by Bear.

    I really wouldn’t care so much but then they both continue to give me mixed messages. It kind of annoys me in that regard. I think the lesson here is: “Business school girls are crazy”.



    I think that kind of sums up my experiences so far.

    On a final note, I totally pwned the Harvard Business Simulator taking the top score in the class. Thereafter, a couple engineers asked me wtf I did. I told them what I did and how I did it, (Basically I did some lame ratio math shit). I then told them, “You think this game is hard? Try getting 40 dumb mother fuckers who are lazy, stupid, and high to show up on time and listen. That is a fucking management simulation.”



    “Hey, you fuckers are supposed to be in raid!”

    “Lulz, what? Dude, I just smoked a fat dooby”


    Of course, after I told them what to do, they copied my method and proceeded to play the game 80 times till one guy beat my score by 2 points. He couldn’t even accept being tied with me to share the prize. So, yeah.

    Anyways, I have to start applying for jobs and following up on my applications again, things that I can’t do well. Solving complicated abstract problems is one thing, doing day-to-day shit is another. I usually sort my day into: things needed to not die, and other. I still have problems with the “other” category.


    PS: Polacks are the new Mexicans.


    “No stopping, no talking, one pace!”




    3 responses to “Queues, Quid, Queries and Queers”

    1. I’ve been there too, girls giving mixed messages.. just gotta move on

    2. Yeah, i know. But, still sucks.

    3. >That made me LAUGH.Tucker the black lab puppy has been thrown in a few times reelntcy so I hope when it’s actually time to swim he gets in our pool. He did knock our yellow lab in last weekend by accident.

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