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  • Anime Expo 09, I can’t believe I’m still doing this

    Posted on July 12th, 2009 Cibo No comments

    So I’m back from Anime Expo; along with the standard week or so it takes for me to give enough of a damn to write a post. Will I still be here ten years from now mocking people and buying anime shit? Sadly, that’s highly plausible.

    lulz, I sees a loser!!


    Anyway, as part of my normal tradition, I had planned to get up and be out the door by 10AM. And as normal, I said “Fuck it” and woke up at 1PM. Upon waking up, I went about buying my ticket online before I left. It is a Godsend they automated the registration process.

    Up until about a year or 2 ago, even if you pre-ordered, you had to go down and wait in line to pick up your badge. The wait times were worse than the communist food rationing lines. The worst year by far was like 2003 or 2004, which was when they were at the Long Beach Convention center. I remember what I said upon walking into the registration room, “Dude, this isn’t that bad. We’ll be out of here in 45 min”. I didn’t pay too much attention to the escalator at the end of line leading up to the next room. Oh, that escalator continues to haunt me to this day.

    When the line finally reached the escalator, we ascended to the next floor. As I peaked over the horizon, I cried. The escalator took us to another room which was a big ass fucking warehouse FULL of people. It was easily a 3 hour wait. Using our ad hoc douche-tard skillz, we tried to bribe someone to let us cut in. Now, my friend possessing epically artist people skills, decides to handle the negotiations by yelling to everyone all at once that he’d pay 5 bucks to let us cut in. Now, I can go in depth into why you don’t do this in negotiations; but let’s just skip to the end where all my friend got was a full frontal exhibition of one perturbed male nerdling’s pubic hair. Despite these minor set backs, we saw some people we knew. They let us cut in, and we were out of there in 15 min.

    Thankfully, things are much easier now.  Implementing a barcode scan system is not exactly placing a replica police cruiser on top of a famous campus’ trademark building difficult. Let alone, it shouldn’t take about 10 years to figure it out. But, whatever it’s done. Though, in one last stand against expedited service, they placed the registration counter way the fuck out there on the other side of the convention center away from everything.

    With registration finished, I went on to the convention activities. I quickly ran into a moral dilemma: “Do I sneak into the Morning Musume concert going on?” Or, “should I quit thinking like a fag?”. Much like an politician, I took the middle-ground and did a half-hearted attempt that really doesn’t accomplish either goal. I found a ticket stub near the trash can and pretended I like a had just came back for a smoke. No dice, I got passed the minimum wage warriors but the Japanese ticket collectors caught me. In consolation, taking the outside route back to the front, I saw Rick Fox, forward from the Los Angeles Lakers 3-peat championship team.

    rick_fox-laker Yes, my life is that random.

    Anyway, on I ventured to the main event, the dealer room. It’s basically a big room full of anime shit. Granted nowadays, you can probably order most, if not all of this shit online. But, it’s a fucking pain to shift through all those websites for any of the really esoteric stuff at AX. Also, in addition to all the vendors breaking street date on EVERYTHING, there’s the pathological anime dorks from all types of social-economic backgrounds who make the dealer room a headline event. Well, for me at least.

    Going through the motions, I picked up a few manga that were a couple of weeks ahead of shipping time, a Code Geass artbook, and another artbook by some random dude. I’m big on artbooks that have a unique style since I think I can learn the most from them. At least that’s the line I’m sticking with.

    Cosplay, more so then I thought, is a hit or miss thing. I really didn’t notice the average chicks cosplaying at all this year. Only the best of the best and the pupil destroyers were able to grab my attention. The hot chicks were amazing looking, with their enjoyably zany dispositions, to the flock of fat guys waddling after them. It was a sight to behold. On the other hand, the fat chicks who were gender neutral even in the best light, just straight up raped my eyes . Both though, strike retarded poses like someone is having a seizure. It’s tolerable when hot chicks do it since hot chicks are all stupid, crazy and self-indulgent anyway. But with fat chicks, it’s like dying from a testicular puncture wound.


    Playing dress-up, serious fkin’ bizness.

    Moving along, one thing that stood out for me this year was the Robert Woodward’s of the anime convention. The anime journalists who hold themselves to the highest level of journalistic integrity. NEVAR, dishonoring the noble profession.


    Reporter getting up close with the subject. 

    Yeah, this year had fuckloads of retards interviewing people for their shitty video blogs. Now all of these people were bad at conversing, some more than others. The GOD TIER, the street fighter 2 AKUMA of journalism, was the fucking dude who was interviewing people with a fucking sock. While that is pretty broken by itself, not only did he use a sock, he was hitting on chicks with it. He even fucking grabbed the boob of a mangirl he was interviewing and was like “opps, tee hee”. I would have gotten a pic of this insanity but it took a minute for all this shit to pass through my well honed psychological trauma filters.  By the time I went back, they were gone. IT EVEN HAD BUTTON EYES!!!!!!

    Even after all these years, some things don’t change though. You still have the retards that pretend they’re Azn and talk like they’re in a Naruto episode. Let’s be honest here, we can objectively say these people have no merit to society at all.  If anyone has ever had one of these tards in their Japanese class, you would have known the great pleasure in how fast these guys failed the course. Even if we presume that the asperberger fucks MAY be adept at math or science, screw it, let’s just hire some real Asians. You don’t fucking see them adding “desu”, “sugoi”, “kawaii” to every fucking sentence and doing katas while waiting in line.

    Does anyone even play board games anymore?


    That’s just sad. Poor CC.

    Lastly, at end of my day, I lost my hearing again. DAMN YOU NASAL CONGESTION!



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