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  • Dogs, deafness, and K-on!

    Posted on June 23rd, 2009 Cibo 131 comments

    So I wrote this huge game theoretic post about why the Playstation 3 will not able to get back into the running and will be stuck in 3rd in most markets outside of Japan. Then I remembered like no one gives a shit about that kind of stuff but me.

    I then started wondering about what to write and then it hit me.

    wtf

    Wtf?

    My neighbor’s retarded pitbull fucking ran me over on Sunday. I was off-balance when I took the charge since I was trying to prevent my cat from being turned into a chew toy. I scrapped the hell out of my arm, though that wasn’t my biggest worry. Because I’ve been living with the delightfully tasty post-concussion syndrome goodness for the last 3 months, I was freaking the fuck out when I hit the pavement. I didn’t want to deal with more problems concerning my goddamn head.  After I assessed that the only blood dripping onto the ground was from my arm, I calmed down, dumped some rubbing alcohol on the wound, and then hosed down the front of the house, where the dog had just pissed when I was laying on the cement. I fucking hate dogs.

    I am so fucked.

    Come Monday, I woke up unable to hear too much in my right ear. I hypothesized it was either my head reacting to Dog: BUM RUSH Blitz Tech! and I was going to die or it was a stuffy nose. I hoped for the latter and I got out of bed. Now the thing is about people, if they’re not sick they have no ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. My mother was pretty much one of the all time greats at that. She’d cuss me out all the time for being sick and absent from school (on the rare legit occasion). But oh man, when she was sick, the world fucking ended.

    Me: “Hey, we’re out of OJ. You drink the last?”

    Mom: “Don’t fucking talk to me, I’MMMMMMM SICKK!!!

    (It’s a like a Queen’s royal accent when saying that. I usually did a 360 spin or sang that part)

    Me: “So why the fuck are you doing out here then? Go the fuck back to sleep”.

    Mom: “Shut the fuck up, I’MMMM SICKKK!!

    Me: “Hey, quit bitching and just go fuck back to sleep.”

    Mom: “I’MMM SICKKK!!!!” *screams*

    Outside of the sick part, that’s actually a pretty normal conversation growing up between Mom and I.

    Anyway, as I spent the day reminding people “Hey dude, I can’t hear out of my right ear, talk louder or come on my left side”, I found that no really pays attention to that shit. Because people didn’t listen to what I said, they would get uppity when I would repeatedly tell them “I can’t hear you, can you say that again louder?” . WHY IS IT SO HORD?

    Ok, FLASHBACK time kiddies

    flashback

    Flashback, it’s not just a crappy game that I gave up on after 30 minutes.

    One of my teachers in college was pretty deaf. He was always telling his students to speak up since the dumb mother fuckers kept talking in whispers. The old guy had to walk all the way across the room, stand 3 inches away from their face and cup his hand in front of his ear. You would think that someone would have figured out to just talk louder before he took the half-minute to minute to get there. Amazingly, I was the only who actually talked loud enough for him to hear me without coming over. Baring the fact I’m naturally loud, I simply talked loud enough to compensate for his deafness.

    This, of course, puzzled the students, one of which was on my floor.

    Girl: “Why do you have to talk so loud?”

    Me: ”He’s deaf”

    Girl: “But it’s, I don’t know, weird sounding. Why are you doing that?”.

    Me: “He’s deaf”

    Girl: “Yeah I know, but it’s doesn’t feel right. Can’t you like be quieter?”

    Me: “He’s deaf! holy shit”.

    This continued on with several repetitions.

    We(she) ended up agreeing to disagree. Dumb bitch. What not everyone is me? NO WAI!

    And one last thing, as I write this post before I crash for the night, I’m hoping that I don’t have to go down to the emergency room tomorrow. I hate waiting forever for something that only takes a few seconds to check out. They usually just do the same thing I do, “Are you dead? Ok, all good”. That and the place smells like fucking boloney.

    out

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